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Although Kentucky no longer reports divorce rates per county, data still shows the state has one of the highest divorce rates in the entire country. In 2015, reports indicated the state had a marriage rate of 7.2 per 1,000 individuals in the population, while the divorce rate was 3.7.

Divorce is a difficult process on both spouses. It is critical to take care of your own mental and emotional well-being during this time. However, you also want to make sure your children have the necessary tools to handle this time emotionally. Here are some ways you should go through the divorce process when you have kids.

Break the news in a mature manner

You want children to hear about the divorce from both parents. The exact way you should go about this will vary depending on the children’s ages. Both parents should be calm during this conversation. Now is not the time to break into an argument. Maturely explain what will happen in the near future. Above all else, you need to ensure your children know it is not their fault. 

Avoid fighting in front of children

You will still have a lot of contact with your spouse while divorcing. Whether you see each other in transition when dropping off the kids or you plan on still living together, you want to ensure you do not fight. Now is an important time to show your children how grown-up relationships can be mature even in the face of total adversity. 

Allow kids to feel sadness and frustration

When your children are sad, allow them to feel sad. When you say things such as “stop crying” or “everything will be fine,” you send the message your children should not feel that way. Kids should feel entitled to their feelings. They may be upset about the divorce specifically, or the separation is simply one more thing making life difficult. Offer your children your support. Your children will have a much healthier understanding of adult relationships in the future.